It had to start sometime…

Greetings All! First, to explain myself, I am a Belfast (Northern Ireland) author trying to get published. By this I mean having a publisher to do all of the work such as advertising, sticking all of the various necessary publicity shit on websites and actually distributing and selling my writing so that I make some money. I finished my first novel in 1999 and have spent time over the last number of years using my head as a doorknocker and getting only headaches!

   I’m also a casualty of the music scene, having been well and truly screwed, blued and tattoed by a major record label in 2000. I have a couple of albums to my name, but you’ll never find them now, not even on ebay!! You can judge the merits/demerits of some of the pieces on the website ( Anyhow, I’ve given up on the music, since I reckon now that I don’t have the energy to do a two hour gig anymore – and that’s where I got my buzz from, in performing. But I still reckon that I’m a good songwriter in the old tradition of the chansonnier. Maybe one of these days someone will do a cover of one of my songs, but I won’t hold my breath.

   So  anyhow, finally I have found a literary agent – he’s called Bill – and he has (a) actually read the novel from end to end, (b) liked it, and (c) encouraged me to finish the second one. So now I have a co-conspirator to guide me. He’s a really nice bloke, also from Belfast, and does seem to know what he’s talking about. So for my homework, he has set me the tasks of getting a proper facebook account – I hate facebook. He has also told me to create a twitter account – I hate twitter, as I do have a life. And I need to have a blog – I hate blogs.  All in all, the basic message is to get to grips with the 21st century or continue struggling in vain.

   Anyhow, what Bill says does make sense. I have to promote myself as kinda erudite like, and er… you know, like, intellectual and sorta articulate like. And then like, er…it’ll be so 2013, you know. Like I mean I’ll be like er so fucking persuasive that you’ll all get really wired into my words like, I mean…it’ll be like so really cosmic and totally cool and… Etc.

   Ok! Having got that off my chest, over the next while I intend to tell yez all what the novel is about – it’s the first in a planned trilogy. The second is almost finished, and the third is basically plotted out. I’ll intersperse this with a general history of how I have learned to hate the media industry that controls literature and music.

   But if you’d like to plunge in regardless (go on, be reckless), you can find the first of the trilogy,The Eejit’s Tale, on Amazon UK or US (ASIN B005HRSUHQ).

   And I’m really going to continue to have a pop at Amazon who are, by and large, a bunch of wankers who produce superb hardware, and then allow the tossers in marketing to devalue it by their totally crap treatment of all but the biggest names. And as for Apple and iTunes… Because I was so annoyed at how totally and truly awful are the Amazon ‘help’ files for authors who want to write for Kindle, I produced my own guide Kindling without Tears, and you can find this at Amazon UK or US (ASIN B005QOWR9C).

   I’ve been planning another book for some time on the evils of global capitalism – yes, I can rant with the best unreconstructed socialists. So in a bit, I’m going to try out sections on you and see if I can generate some sort of a reaction – crashingly bored disinterest won’t count. So be warned.

   Anyhow, that’s where I’m coming from. I’m the angry old fart who makes Waldorf and Stadler look like happy, clappy jive-bunnies. This blog will rant and rage and contain deep, meaningful and incisive analyses of contemporary social issues and key literary and music and …zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

   So here we go. I’m going to try and discipline myself to write on a regular basis.  Bill will be there with his big stick to make sure that I spew forth a regular torrent of really cool stuff to convince you of my renaissence man status!!

Actually, most of my time will be spent trying to make sense of my own ramblings!

Welcome to my little world!



2 thoughts on “It had to start sometime…

  1. Hi Brian,

    Good for you on writing a book and doing another. I am very proud of you! I bought your book on amazon and look forward to reading it.

    Best wishes in your work.

    Heather (brand) x

    • Hi Heather (brand – I knows who you is)! Thank you all round, and I hope you enjoy. But if you don’t, or it leaves you indifferent, please tell me why.

      Hope you are keeping the best of the best!!


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